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second would contribute to our team's weakness as well, but that only lasted a couple of games. No, I didn't get any better, not for a year or two. But Coach Carlson yanked me from the starting lineup in favor of some guy with six hairs already sprouting on his upper lip and I spent the next two weekends riding the bench before I finally threw in my glove. I don't blame the coach, because my screw-ups had clearly cost us the last game I started. At least that's what everyone else on the team pointed out to me, repeatedly. In fact, my teammates, in the spirit of constructive criticism, conceived the nickname "Goony Bird" for me, as a way to gently remind me that my flailing arms and stumbling running were not up to their athletic standards. It was only years later, when I had no friends left who had known me when, that I was able to shorten that to "Bird" and convince my new friends that I'd been so tagged because my basketball ability reminded people of the Celtics great. I was able to put that over, I think, because I had finally grown into my arms and legs. But I don't want you to think that I was some repulsive freak as a kid. Well, at least, not any more repulsive than any other boy who's suffered massive hormone overload. If I kept to a slow, steady pace I could actually put one foot in front of the other without tripping myself. And the photo I still have of me leading the Easter procession, cross held high overhead, white surplice and red cassock flapping in the spring breeze, shows a rather handsome youth. We won't mention how many boxes of Stridex it took to make that so. I didn't get the top spot in the processional on looks alone. I wasn't even the tallest one in our group of altar boys. But Sister Margaret, who doubled as sacristan and Uberfuhrer of altar boys, wasn't about to let Peter Burke take first place. Pete was a few inches taller than me, and about 30 pounds heavier. All muscle. Including his brain, as it happened. Pete was the only kid I ever knew who had been sent to military school -- after fourth grade, a remarkably early exit -- and had made a
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